What if the issue was never your presence, but their fear of it?
Most people don’t wake up one day and decide to make themselves smaller. It happens over time. You walk into a room feeling confident, and then you feel the shift. People respond differently once you speak or show what you can do. They don’t say it out loud, but you know it’s there, because your confidence forces them to face their own insecurity.
So you adjust. You pull your confidence back a little. You explain yourself more than you should. After a while, making yourself smaller starts to feel normal. But most of the time, it’s fear disguised as maturity.
I learned this lesson the hard way.
A colleague of mine was assigned a project they were genuinely excited about. They worked on it, presented it, and really believed in it. After the meeting, leadership pulled me aside and asked if I could take a shot at it too.
I remember thinking, Wait… why me? But I said yes anyway.
I worked on it overnight and presented it the next morning. They loved it and asked me to present it to senior leadership so we could move forward. I was excited beyond words.
When the meeting invite went out, something didn’t feel right. My colleague’s name wasn’t on it. So I forwarded it to them. They declined, saying they didn’t want to attend since they hadn't been included originally. I respected that and moved forward.
The presentation went well. Leadership approved the strategy, and we executed with something great.
A few days later, a business partner called me and said something I wasn’t expecting. My colleague had been talking about me on a call I wasn’t invited to. Saying things that weren’t true. Trying to make me look bad.
Why? Because my idea was chosen over theirs.
That moment hit me hard. But it also taught me something I've never forgotten: anyone who will believe a lie about you before hearing your side wasn’t looking for the truth. And when someone shows you who they are… believe them the first time.Maya Angelou said that, and I’ve lived by it ever since.
I didn’t confront it. Not because it didn’t matter, but because I understood something deeper. Explaining yourself to people who already decided how they already feel about you is a waste of energy.
Even Jesus didn’t spend His time trying to defend Himself. He trusted God to handle it. People questioned His motives. They twisted His words, and even doubted His authority. But He never chased them down to give His side of the story. He kept showing up. He kept healing. He kept teaching. He stayed focused on what He was sent to do.
That matters because distraction is one of the easiest ways to pull you off your purpose.
Here’s what I learned: most of the time, people aren’t reacting to what you did. They’re reacting to what your growth exposes in them. And when that happens, they label it as arrogance. But confidence that’s rooted in purpose doesn’t need to prove itself. And it doesn’t need to disappear either.
There’s a difference between humility and hiding.
You can be confident without being cruel. You can lead without trying to control everything. And you can shine without trying to outshine anyone. Light doesn’t compete. It just exists. That’s why Scripture says in Luke 8:16, “no one lights a lamp and hides it..."Not because hiding is wrong, but because it defeats the purpose.
After that experience with my colleague, nothing about who I was changed. I still showed up prepared. I still did my work the same way. I didn’t hold onto resentment, but I did get wiser. I learned how to read a room better. And I learned that not everyone believes everyone can win, even though I still do.
One of the hardest truths about betrayal is that it rarely comes from strangers. Judas didn’t betray Jesus in public. He did it close enough to look like loyalty. And even that didn’t stop the mission. Scripture reminds us that “the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable”(Romans 11:29). What God placed on your life doesn’t get revoked just because someone else feels threatened.
So don’t make yourself smaller just to make someone else comfortable. Peace that costs you your voice isn’t peace worth keeping. The world doesn’t need more people pretending they’re not capable. It needs people who can stand firm without apology.
It takes courage to keep showing up as yourself when it would be easier to disappear. But consistency has a way of telling the truth over time. And when your worth is anchored in God, other people’s opinions lose their grip.
Psalm 27:1 says, “The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear?” When that becomes real in your life, you stop carrying other people’s insecurities like they're yours.
Remember, you don’t have to make yourself smaller to be humble. Humility is knowing your strength comes from God and walking in it without apology. So stand where you are. Show up as are. And let the light do what it was always meant to do: reveal the truth.
Pray with me
Father God, Help me stay strong when people’s opinions change. Give me confidence that comes from You. Heal the places where fear tries to control how I show up. Let my life show Your light, and may everything I do bring You glory.
