Sometimes we spend so much time talking about what we don’t want that we forget to ask for what we really want.
I recently came across a short video called The Black Coffee Theory. The video was less than two minutes long, but the idea stayed with me long after it ended.
The story was simple.
A woman walks into a coffee shop and steps up to the counter. When the barista asks what she’d like, she pauses for a second and says, “I’m not really sure… I just know I don’t want black coffee.”
She smiles politely and asks again. “Okay, but what would you like instead?”
She shrugs. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just know I don’t want black coffee.”
The shop is busy, so the barista moves on to the next person in line. A few minutes later she returns with her drink and sets it on the counter. Black coffee.
The woman looks down at the cup, confused. “That’s not what I wanted.”
But if we’re being honest, it’s the only thing she talked about.And sometimes our lives look the same way.
As simple as that story is, it says something about the way many of us approach life.
Pay attention to how people talk. You’ll hear things like, “I don’t want to be broke,” or “I don’t want my life to fall apart,” or “I just hope I don’t mess this up.” Even if you’re not vocalizing it, you’re internalizing those feelings. When we keep focusing on what we fear, it slowly becomes the center of our thinking.
When I first heard that illustration, it reminded me of a friend from years ago. He had a job he absolutely couldn’t stand. Every conversation somehow circled back to the hours, the stress, or the management. One day I finally smiled and said, “You know, if you hate that job that much, you might want to find one you actually enjoy.”
It sounded simple enough.
But a few years passed and nothing really changed. Same frustration, same complaints, and yes… the same job.
At some point I realized his attention had been trapped in the same place for so long that he couldn’t picture anything different.
But before I point at him too long, I have to admit. I’ve done the same thing in my own life. Maybe not with a job, but in moments where I catch myself saying things like, “I just hope this doesn’t fall apart,” or “I really don’t want to mess this up.” On the surface it sounded cautious, but underneath it was fear talking.
And that’s where this gets real.
The Bible reminds us how powerful our words can be. Proverbs 18:21 says that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” That verse isn’t meant to make us nervous about every sentence we say. It simply points out that our words often reveal what our hearts are leaning toward.
Jesus said something similar in Matthew 12:34 when He explained that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” In other words, what fills our hearts eventually shows up in our words.
And this is where many of us struggle. We love saying, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”(Philippians 4:13). But what happens when our backs are up against the wall, do we still believe it? Or do we quietly think, “Maybe this doesn’t apply to me”?
That gap between what we declare and what we truly trust… that’s the place God wants to meet us.
Speaking life isn’t about trying to control outcomes. God is not waiting for the perfect sentence before He moves. He is sovereign and faithful. He is good whether our confession is flawless or not. This is not a magic formula. It’s about alignment.
Romans 4:17 says that God “calls those things which do not exist as though they did.”He sees the end from the beginning. When we speak in faith, we aren’t trying to boss God around. We’re agreeing with His heart.
And sometimes, even when we speak life, things still take time. Sometimes doors don’t open immediately. That doesn’t mean your faith failed. It means God is still God, and we trust Him anyway.
My friend stayed in that job longer than he needed to because he never changed his focus. He kept ordering from the don’t-want menu. I’ve realized I’ve done the same at times... talking more about what could go wrong than about what God could do.
If your life feels like black coffee when you wanted a latte, maybe it’s time to change your order. Speak life over your home, your mind, and your future. And if you slip back into old habits, don’t worry... just turn back to Him. He is patient, kind, and faithful to finish the work He started in you.
Pay attention to the way you speak this week. When fear shows up in your words, stop and take it to God. Let His truth change the way you think. The goal isn’t perfect words... it's a heart that trusts Him more than it trusts its fears.
Pray with me.
Father God,
Search my heart. If my words have revealed fear or unbelief, gently correct me. Teach me to trust You for real, not just in what I post or say publicly, but in the times when no one is watching. Align my words with Your truth. And Lord, if I start ordering that thing I don’t want again, remind me that Your grace is bigger than my mistakes. In Jesus’ name, amen
