Let me start by saying this plainly, because most of us only learn it the hard way: not everybody who shows up for you is truly there for you. Some people are close, but not committed. Some are loud in public, but not loyal. And some smile in your face while quietly hoping you never become who God created you to be.
That’s not meant to make you suspicious of everyone. It’s meant to make you discerning.
Discernment is one of those things we don’t always appreciate until we realize how much trouble a lack of it has already caused us. It’s not about being deep or super-spiritual. It’s about seeing beyond what’s visible. Beyond words. Beyond appearances. Beyond the feelings. It’s about understanding what something really is, not just what it looks like.
Over the years, I’ve learned there are three types of friends you will have in life. One that supports your dreams. One that hates your dreams. And one that laughs at your dreams. I’ve had all three. And if I’m being honest, without discernment, some of them looked exactly the same at first.
The friend who supports your dreams doesn’t need to fully understand your vision to believe in you. They don’t have to walk the same path you’re walking. They just respect the fact that God is doing something in your life. These are the people who celebrate without competing. They check on you without being nosy. They help without expecting anything in return. I call them destiny helpers… the ones who genuinely want to see you win. These people are rare, and when you find them, you honor their presence. Scripture says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Destiny helpers understand that your success doesn’t diminish them; in fact, they grow alongside you.
Then there are the ones who hate your dreams. This group is tricky because they don’t always come across as enemies. Sometimes they sound like they’re just being honest. Sometimes they say they’re trying to protect you. But if you listen closely, their words are always pulling you backward, never forward. Your growth makes them uncomfortable. Your obedience reminds them of what they gave up on. And instead of dealing with that internally, they push it onto you. The Bible says, “A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household” (Matthew 10:36).That’s not just about family. It’s about closeness. Just because you’re close to someone doesn’t mean you’re on the same page.
And then there are the ones who laugh at your dreams. These people don’t necessarily hate you, but they don’t take you seriously either. To them, your dreams seem impossible. They joke when you’re being vulnerable. They minimize what matters to you. They’re present for the fun parts, but missing when it’s time for discipline, and growth. Proverbs says, “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words” (Proverbs 23:9). Not every vision needs to be explained, especially to those who can’t honor it.
This is why discernment matters. Because without it, we overshare. We explain too much. We let people in who aren’t meant to be part of our journey. We get excited about what God is doing and tell everyone, not realizing that some people secretly hate that you’re doing well. Others will cheer for you out loud but spy on you behind your back, watching closely… not to learn, but to compare.
That’s why learning to move in silence is so important. Silence isn’t weakness... it’s wisdom. Jesus didn’t announce every miracle. He didn’t explain Himself to everyone. He knew timing. He understood that not every season needs a microphone. The Bible says, “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty” (Proverbs 22:3). Discernment teaches you when to speak and when to stay quiet, when to invite people in, and when to let God work privately.
Seeing beyond what’s right in front of you means understanding that a smile doesn’t always mean someone truly supports you, and silence doesn’t always mean they’re against you. It’s noticing behaviors instead of making excuses. It’s paying attention to how people react when you’re growing, not just when you’re struggling. God reminds us in Proverbs 3:21, “My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion.” True discernment comes when we ask God to help us see people the way He sees them and to respond with wisdom, even when they’re not fully with you.
The truth is, discernment grows as your relationship with God develops. The closer you walk with Him, the clearer things become. You don’t have to force it or overthink it... your eyes just start opening to what brings peace and what brings confusion. And remember, God is not the author of confusion.
Here’s the challenge: take a real look at the people around you. Who truly supports your dreams? Who pulls you down? And who treats your purpose like it’s a joke? Ask God for courage to set boundaries… not out of pride, but out of obedience. Protect what God has given you. Be careful who you share it with. And trust this: the right people will come at the right time, in God’s timing, not yours.
Pray with me.
Father God,
Open my eyes to see clearly and my heart to follow Your wisdom. Help me to discern the truth, trust Your plan, and let go of what isn't meant for me. Align me with the people and opportunities You've placed in my life, and give me peace in every step. In Jesus' name, Amen.
