Have you ever been disappointed with someone because they didn’t show up the way you thought they should? Not because they were a bad person, but because you expected more. I’ve been there, and if I’m honest, it took one simple conversation to open my eyes.
A good friend of mine from Boston once said, “You do so much for so many people. You show up for everyone. But who shows up for you? Who pours back into you?” I don’t know why those words hit me so hard, but they hit me right where I was most honest with myself. At first, I brushed it off. I hadn’t really thought about it before. But the more I sat with it, the more I realized he was right.
My mother used to tell me I had a big heart. She also warned me that if I wasn’t careful, people would take advantage of it. Back then, I didn’t fully understand what she meant. I thought having a big heart was always a good thing, and in many ways it is. But I didn’t realize you can give so much of yourself away that there’s nothing left for you.
Sometimes God calls us to be the giver. He places us in times where we pour out constantly, encouraging others, supporting them, standing in the gap, and believing for them when they can’t believe for themselves. But giving without wisdom can lead to neglecting yourself. And when that happens, you start waiting on people to do what only you, with God’s help, were meant to do.
The Bible says there is “a time to give and a time to receive”(Ecclesiastes 3:1–5). That tells me balance matters to God, and reminds me that He never intended for us to empty ourselves without being refilled.
Even Jesus understood this. People needed Him constantly, yet He still stepped away to pray and rest. Luke 5:16 says Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to be alone with God. If Jesus needed space to be regain strength, we do too.
What I’ve learned is this: sometimes we’re waiting on people to show up, and God is waiting on us to show up for ourselves. Loving others doesn’t mean losing yourself. Jesus said we are to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31), which tells me self-care, done with wisdom, is part of obedience.
I also had to accept that not everyone who is close to you can support you. Some people benefit from you but don’t know how to pour back into you. That doesn’t make them wrong; it just means they’re limited. God often uses those moments of disappointment to show us that people were never meant to be our source.
Psalm 62:5 says, “Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.” People are a blessing, but God is the source. When you stop waiting for people to be what only God can be, you free yourself from unnecessary hurt.
And here’s the promise that brings it all together: God will send the right people. He always does. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us that two are better than one because we’re meant to walk together. While many think of this verse as talking about marriage, it really applies to any relationship where God calls people to walk alongside each other in support and encouragement. The difference is this: when you’re whole and grounded in God, you’ll recognize the people who are meant to walk with you, not lean on you.
So if you’re tired or disappointed, hear this clearly: stop waiting. Show up for yourself.Take care of your heart. Set boundaries. Rest when you need to. Trust God to fill the gaps people never could.When you do, you’ll realize this was never about people failing you… it was about God teaching you where your strength truly comes from. And in all of it, God alone gets the glory.
This is your moment of decision. Stop waiting for people to change, to notice, to choose you, or to give what God never told them to give. Show up for yourself with wisdom.Trust God as your source. Pay attention to what He is teaching you, take responsibility for your own care, and walk boldly while He aligns the right people at the right time.
Pray with me
Father God,
I release every expectation I placed on people that belonged to you. Teach me how to show up for myself without guilt and trust You as my source in every area of my life. I give You all the glory for who You are and for what You are doing in me.
