Have you ever skipped going to a movie, avoided a restaurant, or decided not to talk to someone just because someone else said, “It’s not good,” or “They’re not worth your time”?
If we’re being honest, most of us have. We hear other people’s opinions and accept them without much thought. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it. We let someone else’s experience turn into our choice. It may seem harmless, but when it comes to people, those opinions can change how we see someone before we ever give them a chance.
We live in a world where people are judged quickly, and social media makes it even easier. Rumors spread faster than the truth. Before we know it, we’re forming strong opinions about people we don’t even know, based on someone else’s point of view.
I learned this lesson early in life, even though I didn’t fully understand it at the time. It was my freshman year of high school. Everything felt exciting and scary all at the same time. Like most freshmen, I just wanted to fit in. One day at lunch, I was sitting with kids from my homeroom when two students walked into the cafeteria. I didn’t know them, but someone at the table quickly said, “Don’t hang out with them. They can’t be trusted. They think they’re better than everyone else.”
That was all it took.
Rumors spread fast, and without ever speaking to them, I believed what I heard. I didn’t stop to question it or wonder if it was true. I let someone else’s opinion become my own.
Then something unexpected happened. One day in gym class, I walked out of the locker room and ran straight into one of them. I tried to avoid him, but he smiled and said, “What’s up? You’re Ron, right?” I nodded. He held out his hand and said, “I’m Terrance. My brother Sam and I are twins. This is our first year here. Nice to meet you.”
We walked to the gym together, laughing. It didn’t take long for me to realize he wasn’t anything like what I’d been told. He was kind and easy to talk to. Before long, it was clear that he and his brother were actually good people.
In that moment, I had to face an uncomfortable truth… I was wrong.
I had judged them based on someone else’s words instead of my own experience. I let a secondhand opinion become my first impression. What I learned is simple: just because someone says something negative about a person doesn’t make it true.
That lesson feels even more important today.
The Bible speaks to this in a very practical way. Proverbs says, “The one who tells their side first sounds right, until someone else comes along and asks questions” (Proverbs 18:17). The first story we hear often sounds convincing, until we slow down and take time to understand the full picture.
Even Jesus was misunderstood. Some called Him a troublemaker. Others said He was dangerous or misleading. John 7:12 says, “There was much whispering about Him… Some said, ‘He is a good man.’ Others replied, ‘No, He deceives the people.’”
Same Jesus. Very different opinions.
Many of those judging Him never took the time to truly know Him. They reacted to what they heard instead of what they saw for themselves. That still happens today, not just with faith, but with people.
We often see someone’s reputation before we ever see their heart. We hear one side of a story and assume it’s the whole truth. And without realizing it, we risk judging people God created in His image.
Jesus addressed this when He said, “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment” (John 7:24). He wasn’t telling us to ignore wisdom. He was reminding us that quick judgments usually miss what’s really going on underneath.
Getting to know someone takes effort and humility. It means admitting we don’t know everything and being willing to listen.
Think about how many relationships never started because of something someone heard. How many misunderstandings grew because no one stopped to ask, “Is this actually true?”
God reminds us, “People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). God sees what we often miss, the whole story.
That moment in high school changed how I approach people. It reminded me that everyone has a story, and that story deserves more than a rumor. It deserves a chance.
So the next time you hear something about someone, pause. Ask yourself whether you’re reacting to truth or just noise. Ask God to help you see their heart.
Sometimes, getting to know someone doesn’t just change how you see them. Sometimes, it changes you.
Pray with me.
Father God,
Help me slow down and seek truth before forming opinions. Teach me to see people the way You see them, with love and grace. Let my heart reflect Yours in every interaction.
